Mitches: Males bitches aka AH

Maya Angelou : Dignity—the word itself—has come to mean different things to different people, as many words do. It doesn't just mean always being stiff and composed. It means a belief in oneself, that one is worthy of the best. Dignity means that what I have to say is important, and I will say it when it's important for me to say it. Dignity really means that I deserve the best treatment I can receive. And that I have the responsibility to give the best treatment I can to other people.

I agree with her, Dignity must be respected by self and others too. Recently, I was having coffee with a male friend, lets call him Joe. Joe, had not had sex in almost two years after breaking up with his girlfriend. In his smarts, he thought it wise to tell me of his plan to get back on the horse. I listened carefully as have come to realize that people have interesting thought, mostly sickening.

His plan was solid, I can admit that. At his workplace, there was this new lady that he fancied. She had a great personality, focused at work, was warm and friendly and had formed great relationship with her new colleagues at all levels. She was a darling. He approached her a friend and found out she was single and has been single for a year now. To him, that was the 'hot button' he was going to use. 

He packaged himself as this harmless gentleman who wants nothing more than to be his friend. After six months as a friend, the lady had trusted him enough to share her break up story with him. Her ex-boyfriend had dumped her with no explanations after five years of relationship, right before their official traditional wedding; bride price payments. She decided to stay away from relationships to avoid compromising her dignity with re bounces as she thought of herself as very vulnerable.

To Joe, this was good information for him to use to get her in bed. Patiently he waited for the right time to pounce. The lady started hanging out with Joe often, going for lunches, coffees after work. One evening, she was stranded at work due to rain and Joe offered to come back and pick her. She was so thankful as he dropped her to her house, an hour off his route home. After that, he started making his intentions of wanting a 'relationship' with her evident. He has good graces from his previous acts and was sure to score. The lady resisted at first but later started warming up to the idea of having another love of her life, better man than her ex.

Joe, asked the lady out for dinner, she agreed and eventually went to his house, and I really don't need to spell out the rest. According to him, that was the best sex he had ever had. What to do, mission accomplished, but accomplished too well. He sought to see her again the weekend that followed. According to him, the thrill was over, he got what he wanted and nothing left for him with her. At this moment, he knew the lady had developed a comfort zone around him and was settled. He knew he had to break her feelings and thought of what he termed as an easier way out. Ladies and gents, this pissed me right off...

He blacked her out!!!!! 

Just like that. No calls, no chats, no whats-app messages, no texts, no coffees or pick ups no glances at work. Complete black out. Anytime he saw her approaching his desk, he'd walk out and move to another office or pretend to talk on phone. He even barred her number and any time she called he seemed off line.

I was angry. I was so angry on her behalf. It's been two weeks and she seemed worried and haven't given up on him yet. 

What do we call this men! give me a name. Help me understand why you would do this to another woman. Why not simply pay for pleasure if that's all you were after. DAMN him. 

Joe is a friend but that day I bitch slapped him. Girl, I got you! I don't know you but I got him for you.

What does this dream mean?

Today was an interesting day.

I have been cracking my head on how to go about an upcoming interview but what has been occupying my mind so much was the fact that my boyfriend was mugged yesterday's morning while he was heading to work. Yes, he works on Sundays. He was mugged by about six people and they hit him on his head with something but only managed to get his cellphone and his money. Thank God, he didn't have all his monies in one place.

That same night, last Saturday night, I had the most real dream. It was my very own 3D dream. It did scare the sleeping moonlight out of me. In the dream, there was this mysterious man who had a wife. This man wasn't  very bright in his mind. He was having an affair with me, yes I know, very interesting huh?

Lets move on. This man and I seemed to have such a good time. He took me out for luncheons to very private yet chic places I never knew existed in this country, we did go to Zanzibar at some point, dinners and road trips every now and then. This affair was quick and very enjoyable, spent som good quality time together.

This fool, allow me to call him so, decides that its time for him to be sloppy as per the dream. He sent a text to his wife letting her know where he was for the night with me. Luckily it was a town I somehow knew and when she came there, she seemed all fired up as he had forgot he had lied to her he was away for business. I was so scared for her.

When we met, she was ready to cut my neck off with her girlfriends and when she was hailing abuses at me, her girlfriends held me and she started sending blows to me. The idiot of a man did nothing but get his pants on and when i managed to break lose, when I was about to hit her, I woke up. I was panting, sweating, looking around even under my bed, got out of bed, turned on the lights and went out to get me a glass of ice cold water.

That was very real and I still do not know why I had that dream. Was it meaningful or just an imagination? How did it relate with my life as I have no sugar daddy or married boyfriend..what's that even?

I am scared to death. That woman was huge, strong and scary. No wonder that man came to me / a younger version of a lady.

Any suggestions why this happened?

Talk to me.

This is thedoc.

What would you have done different?

Today folks, I just want to vent.

I'm writing to you with eyes filled with tears. Tears of my own created misfortune. I've been crying for three days now in my own room in closed doors and I just can't stop it.

Why? Because of love. 

I'm in love with  young man. He treats me good but always seems to have a flare for trouble. All this started when another woman sent me an image of my man's manhood, last month. 

How did she get to me?

last month, I used my man's pic as my profile picture on whatsapp chat. She thought I was him and reintroduced myself as his girlfriend. She said she was the one he was dating. This woman lives in the UK and that didn't make sense to me. To prove her point she sent me a recent photo of his manhood.

When confronted he first lied it was an old photo but evidence stated otherwise, he then confessed it was recent and he was sorry. His reason was that he needed to make the woman jealous. He told me he had blocked her on their chat and I believed him so easily.

Six weeks passed and then, I did the worst thing any woman should do in a relationship. I went through his phone which is always on password. I found out that he never blocked her and were continuing their conversation on face book, his inbox.

He confronted her for sending me the picture as per their last month chat but that wasn't the worst part. He had the audacity of telling the woman that he and I were nothing, not an item not dating as he has not lover nor love life. That pierced through me like a sharp knife cutting flesh.

Before this misfortune, I had recently resigned from my job in this foreign town where we met. I was doing everything in my powers to settle here so as we could be together. My parents and friends asked me to go back to my hometown and asked them for time as I was trying to sort out logistics of staying here with him.

When I confronted him about it, he became defensive and asking why I went through his phone. I was pissed and very angry with myself and him. This is where worse turned to worst. I took his phone again and started chat with this other woman as him. I told her off and asked her to move on with her life as I well him was in love with someone else not her. She was pissed but did agree to it and said she would. I later blocked her on his face book only to find myself on his blocked list, blocked her on whatsapp and then deleted her from his contacts.

By the way, I,m young and she's in her fifties, literally. She's twice my age with a family and two kids. Wonder what else she's lacking.

He found out what I did and got really pissed. Not because I used his phone but because I had burnt the bridge between him and this elderly woman. 

I decided to move out and move in with a friend of mine on transit to my hometown. He seems indifferent about it and that is actually hurting me more. I know I did wrong but what would you have done in my position? hmmm.

I just wish I could move on easily and stop all this crying over spilled milk.

My January 1st 2013

I seem to have a talent. A talent that many of us ignore. A talent that I have been forced to recognize and appreciate it. A talent that brings both joy and sadness to all around me. A talent that you don't need to have. My talent is to get myself into trouble constantly and expect others to bail me out. This time, it caught up with me and caught up with me good.I'm human, female and with emotions. My emotions however, get tangled up depending on the scenario. I am pretty good at knowing what's right and what's wrong and that's when my talent kicks in. 

This time, I got my heart involved in my search for trouble. I met this young man in Malindi. The literal tall dark and handsome. We started spending more and more time together, we got close and eventually started dating. All was well, and he is such a gent. We work together, and that was a major problem as we worked so hard to keep it a secret, that we often bonded on how close people came to knowing about us. It was no longer about him and I but what people know about us.

This young man, lets name him Kim, did everything in his power to shower me with his love. He took me out to dinner dates often, brought me lunch when I was tied up in office, took me for ice cream dates, clubbing, joined me during my free sessions for swimming, introduced me to his friends as his woman and met my new pals in Malindi. He would help me with my work and tried to make my life better and more fulfilling. Several times he helped me hit my target and he is someone I can easily rely on. 

My friends here in Malindi think he's bad news. Since he's a pretty boy, he has to be faking. He has to be having some line up of women and am simply one on the string. They have asked me severally to break up with him as he ''aint worth me'' on several occasions. One time I started believing them and seeing sense in what they were saying. What they didn't know was that it hurt me every time they said something nasty about him. I was never truthful to them about him. I just told them his weaknesses and never his strengths. I can't blame them for their opinions, they were doing what friends do best, looking after my best interests.

During that time of doubting Kim, I was introduced to another gentleman, let's name him Ben. Ben is what any woman in their right mind would go for. He is mature, stable in mind, kind and thoughtful, a good listener and most of all he knows how to keep a woman interested. Ben is also very very good with words. The distance between me and Ben was about 600 kilometers. he lives in a different town. We constantly talked or chat on whats-app application on our cell phones. Since he was far from me, I tried hooking him up with my girlfriend but it never matured as none was willing to meet the other. He then said he wanted to be with me.

Ben and I got close. When I went to that town to work, we met for the first time. That was the start of my talent. We had so much fun with him and his friends for the week I was there. He joined me in my work trips and introduced me to his network of contacts. People we can work with and do profitable business together. I loved the way he could look at me, like gaze for a while. He got his friends to like me and involve me in what they were doing. Eventually, I started thinking we were dating. I enjoyed it. 

I was living a lie. Whenever am with Ben, I knew that Kim would call and always tried to call back when Ben aint around. When I was with Kim, Ben would hit me up on chat and would continue chatting with him. This became the source of problems between Kim and I. He was not happy that I chat with other people in his presence and more so late at night. Ben seemed to be indifferent about it. On 31st December last year, Ben gave me a surprise visit at my work place in Malindi. 

In case you still haven't caught the drift, I was dating two men at the same time. Now I had Ben and Kim in the same place. This is when I knew my time was up. It was my 39th day as a thief. Ben asked about Kim and Kim has been asking about Ben for a while. What's worse, Ben wanted to meet Kim, make him a business offer but none knew I was dating the other. Yes, I was busted, there was no other way out but to confess my sins to both.

What happened? I introduced each to the other. They did their business meeting in my presence and after, I told them the truth. I have been dating both of them at the same time. Kim was devastated, Ben simply walked away. Kim was so angry at me he couldn't look at me without sneering. I can't blame him. I made a mistake knowing that one day it will blow up. He lectured me for a good one hour thirty minutes. That time, I knew I liked him more than I thought. When he left, I felt a sharp pain in my gut like someone put a knife in me. I started crying but kept reminding myself that it's my fault. All this was my fault.

Ben on the other hand, comes by to check if Kim had killed me. He didn't seem bothered by the news at all. He kept justifying that there is nothing he can do about it. When we got the chance to talk, we walked along the beach and all through I couldn't help but wonder why it aint bothering him. He then asked me to do what makes me happy. He said he wanted us to be a couple but seems like there are some complications. That right there got me thinking. He has already got himself out of my world. He's not Kim. Kim reacts and isn't afraid to show emotions but Ben is like the ultimate alpha and doesn't show emotions. After some breather, Kim decides he needs to know where he stands and I needed to make a choice. In my head, the choice has already been made by Ben. He wanted out and was left with Kim.

That to me bothered me. I needed to follow what I want. My mind was telling me to go with Ben but my heart was for Kim. Both mind and heart are stupid as got me here in the first place. My choices got me here and was afraid to make another dumb one. Do I choose the one my mind wants and thinks is right one as he challenges me but not sure of where we stand with each other or should I follow my heart that tell me its Kim and that he loves me and shows it but I may not be loving him as much as he loves me or worse simply reacting to his loving actions. I had the worst time, I could literally not choose. Whenever am with Kim, am settled and want Kim but when I got to Ben, I want Ben too.

I decided to choose myself. That was a minute decision. Kim invited me for dinner, went and think am now back to square one. Back with him while I told Ben I wanted him. why can't I make a decision on this. I am afraid of what Ben's friends will think of me and am afraid of what my colleagues will think if not already thinking about me. I'm afraid Ben and Kim will both hate me. I'm afraid of losing my public image of a good stable wifely woman. I'm afraid of being labelled a whore. I'm mostly afraid of losing my self respect and dignity. Think I just lowered the last two. I'm afraid of being embarrassed by myself and not being able to look at myself with same esteem again. I'm afraid of what my friends will think. I'm simply afraid of making a decision and living with the consequences.

Gossip town...Malindi

Believe me when i tell you this, you haven't missed much. I left Nairobi, company I was working for had started to get unfriendly working relations, and I was bored to do the same thing over and over again. Fortunately, I got a job in a hotel in Malindi.


Malindi, for those who do not know is a coastal town in Kenya, North coast. It's relatively buzzful and highly dominated by Italians and Germans. Do I like it here, yes, is it any different than Nairobi, Nope.

Last time I wrote about office gossip, now am experiencing one. Here's why. People here do not have confidence in themselves. They kiss arse for a living and will do literally anything they are asked to do. if they are asked to jump, they ask how high. To some that's optimism to me its plain dump. another interesting fact, they do not believe much in books here. It's all about inheritance and easy pay but no books. If you're educated, you can really go far as long as you do not get into their habit of kissing arse. That's desperate.


Am a social being, like every other man, at my new place of work, I met this handsome young man called Ben, not his real name. Now Ben and I got really close really fast. We like the same music, comedy, drinks both alcoholic and non alcoholic, he has the cutest little girl as his daughter and all was cool. Now, remember the point of working with uneducated folks, this is where it gets interesting.


My other colleagues started spreading rumors that we were a couple.  Reason, we spent time together. I did not justify  not deny them I let them talk. It soon became that we were going out to clubs and dancing and getting really cosy. Is it true? Partly, we did go out to dance once or twice but cosy I don't know. Again, I never paid much attention to it.

In the midst of all these gossip, another tall dark and handsome gent joined the team. I had the biggest crush on him. Let's name him Allan. Allan is mature, much older than I am and seemed more outgoing and with stories. I did not say anything to anyone about my crush for the first two weeks but it got worse. I could literally not look at him without blushing. So I told one lady at our front office about it.  Story continues, my boss and I have one thing in common, we love booze, and house music. to me they are one and the same thing, can't listen to house music without booze or booze without house music.


These gossipers decided to turn the gossip up a notch. It turns out that am dating three guys in the office. Ben Allan and the boss. the fun part is, Ben and the boss are friends and they know about it and are cool with it. I as usual ignored it. It went from dating to sleeping with all three. Now, I don't know about you, but dear Lord, how much energy do they think I have? What made me take notice was when the boss came to me to confide in me and tell me about the rumors. I laughed at it which did offend him a little but explained and told him that I knew about them all along but chose to ignore them. he was not very impressed by it as he started making "threats" about the job security, either I or Ben will be fired. To me that plain non sense, Ben and I have told him that nothing is going on, now they want me to stop hanging out with the only two cool guys in the entire hotel because of some gossipers! Bitch please!
I told him that won't work as any other person I hang out with will be another gossip story, so let them talk. They did, story reached as far as the head of the hotel, again, let them talk...I feel like a celerity up in here.
 

Yup moral of the story is that am working with morons and a mix of very intelligent minds.