WHERE DID ALL WOMEN GO...THE RESPONSE

When I read the article on ''where did all women go'', I was impressed by the view point of women by the writer. More so, the fact that the write was female.

What I thought was really depressing was her generalisation of us women. The whole aspect of ''..all women...'' seems quite unfair to some of us. Yes, i agree that some women are well described on the article but the rest of us, why put us in the same group. I wish the article was '' where did some women go ...'' not  ''..all women...''

So to answer your question here are we, the rest of the women.

On Materialism; If I can afford it, let me buy it. Some of us women do depend on their men for material things and there's nothing wrong with it, however, others also buy the material things they need. We women want nothing more than to love, support and motivate our men, not use them as ATM machines. We do anything legal to support our families and people around us.

We do need men in our lives and since your a big fan of the holy book, consider this verse for a change,
1 Corinthians 11:11-12 “In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.”

Allow me to paraphrase the book Act like a lady and think like a man '' three things that shows that a man 'loves a woman, Provides, Protects and Professes...'' Some women want to prove that they don't need men but we appreciate what they have to offer. Feminism simply appreciates that we can do what men can do, we fight for equality on education of the girl child, job opportunities, against FGM, just to mention  a few. We real women aren't after who should cook, or do laundry as we understand that's our part, as he fixes the garage, or services my car.

In relationships, men and women are interdependent. We both know and appreciate our roles and perform them to our best. that's what real women do, not the young girls you described as women of today. In addition we can fix a bulb or change a tyre, we're not entirely helpless.

Dressing; 

 Am in agreement that people judge others by first glance. More often than not that's true but could also be misleading. Calling women harlots due to clothing preferences isn't right. The holy book refers to women of the times of Jesus, about 1000 ages ago. Correct me if am wrong, but I believe they didn't have the same clothing as we do now, and yes some belonged to harlots sure, why generalise.

Harlots as much are on clothing, they are also on character. All women aren't harlots. The question am always asked is, how much skin makes one to be indecent. Sounds like an easy one right. Wrong. If a business executive, goes to work with a mini skirt suit, about five inches above the knee that's decent, official. if the same business executive goes to a club with the same outfit, she's a whore.

Let's change the scenario, lets go to developed world. Women in hot pants walking on the streets, others with micro mini skirts. My point is, its the individual perception that makes a woman harlot or not in regards to her dress code. In Africa, we want to be conservative, that's fine, but can't we really ignore the western influence here. They made us decent. African history tells of us dressing in hides and skins, men and women only covering their lower part of body, still happening in some parts of this country. If covering myself is indecent, what do you call public display of breasts, and buttocks; African heritage. By all means women, cover what you can.

Showing Gratitude & Making Demands; I believe am speaking on behalf of all real women when I say that we never stopped showing gratitude to God, the men in our lives and families and people around us. We know we are not an island. We need other people to survive, and are grateful every single day. The Bible does tell us to submit to our men and in the same book and verse it tells the men to love their women as Christ loved his church.
 
Ephesians 5:22-33 ''Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.''

We all don't deserve salvation, but we got it out of God's love to us, his creation. We women would do same thing for our families, sacrifice what's most important to us to protect and provide for our families, that includes our men.

If my man is the routine type of person, comes home around same time, goes to work same time, and things like that, if he comes later than expected, i have every right to be worried. Its a crazy world out their and its not that we're a nagging, we're just worried. We know that every day our men leave the house, the are faced with constant battles, from work and society. When he comes home, we want him to feel like the king he is, like everything is worth fighting for, and tomorrow will be a better day. We make our homes their safe haven.

Proverbs 14:1 ''The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.'' That's who we are, wise women. Thought you should know that as well.

Cheapening Ourselves?? Really...
 
Chivalry plays a role as it stands for honor and courtly love. Cheating ourselves that every man we meet will marry us is stupid, lack of better word, and so is acting holier than thou. Let me refer you to the Bible, John 8:7 ''...Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her...” Please take that advise.

So they made a mistake and slept with men, are you claiming your without sin, I don't think so. So instead of running to condemn them and call them harlots, give them a chance, its a mistake, a sin done and can be forgiven by god if not you.

Allowing a man to buy dinner isn't cheapening ourselves, its simply allowing them to play their role of provision. Its really advisable to live with the impression that one should be married first before giving up the cookie, I applaud that, and some do follow it, others don't. That doesn't mean all women are giving it up.

Am a big fan of life choices, and standards are different depending on the individual. If you want a ring on it first, well and good, that's your choice, if you want to test drive it first, that's fine as well, again its your choice. My question is, why let other peoples' choice bother you or worse influence yours or try and force your onto others? And we know, he may put a ring on it and end up being a jerk.
 
Women, we appreciate the greatest gift from God to humans, ability to think and make choices. We simply use our positions to try and mould people around us to give them options for them to choose. They know whats right and wrong but don't force them. Let them make their own mistakes and learn from it. As they say, ''Experience is the best teacher''. Show them the right way and let them be. Don't look down upon them or call them names.

On Genuine Compliments; I have to disagree on the '' we dress the part...'' part, what does that mean really. If I look sexy when am mad, that's a good thing than being told that I look like a warthog or hyena or all wrinkled up. Don't decide what kind of compliment you get, be grateful.
 
Unlike women, men always have a plan when they're walking towards a woman. They try and read how much effort they'll have to put in place to sleep with you. How expensive are you, on time, money and energy. Its a wise woman who knows this, and is prepared to handle it. let me give you an example. If two women are in a gym and a man walks up to one and compliments her on her work out, '' looking good''. If the lady's answer is; ''I like to work out to keep fit and healthy'', that man knows she isn't easy, if the same compliment is said to the other woman and her response is..'' I need to look good...''.

They both appreciated the compliment, but its how you do it that's differs and gives you away. Every compliment is a way of getting something, its how you play it that will determine if your a wise one or one of the some described by the article. Whether to get to know you or the most common how quickly he can get you to bed.

That's the reality.

Listening to fake friends;  Choices, choices, choices. First things first, real women have a strong sense of intuition. They can tell when something is wrong or about to be wrong. Call it a sixth sense. We listen to friends for advise and everything else. Why would you have a fake friend knowingly?
 
As for children, raising them today is different from how our parents or grandparents were raised. With a 24hours mothers. We have to work. Women actually find a balance and don't let their children so astray because they are busy. We discipline our kids, so we need a little help, so what?

We women do what we have to, make sure our children are raised right. Showing up for their school plays and sports days, helping them out with their homework, dropping them to school. We do all these regardless of our professions.

Don't mistake having domestic help to giving up our roles as mothers.

Looking for men;  Let me correct that. The man is the hunter, not us women. We don't go looking for men, they find us where we are. Those looking, well explains the part of looking for them in all the wrong places.
 
There's no definite park to find men, or a club or a house. You can meet your soul mate anywhere any time and more likely than not they are very close to you. So I go to a party, a friend introduces me to his friend, is he not chivalrous since we met at a party. No.

On religion, finding Jesus is a personal decision and am sorry to say dear, but some do find the right man and are unsaved. Its not a requirement. Or a list of things to do to find a man; a.) be saved b.) avoid clubs c.) find right man.

Being a christian simply guides your choices in life.So if am Hindu and I don't find Jesus, am not getting married. Or Islam or Pagan. Please keep your religious beliefs to self, let us know about it but don't try and force it on us.
 
Learn to appreciate other people their race, culture, religious beliefs and life choices.

Prayers;  Am a christian, and prayers are a great part of my day to day life, as so is for most women from different other religions.

We pray to ask for protection for ourselves, family and friends. Some even go further and pray for their countries, work and so on. Women don't forget to pray, we can't afford not to.
Am really disturbed by the shallow point of view that women only pray for their men. They are part of what else we pray about.
 
Our lives doesn't wholly depend on their existence. So my man is broke now, praying about it won't give him cash, praying he gets a job will or start a business. The main reason why some marriages break is because of a word called change. Praying for change is good. Expecting a man to change after marriage is foolishness, and expecting a woman not to change is also foolishness.
 
People don't change because you want them to, they change because they want to do so for self gain. Humans are innately selfish being. As per your advise, you pray for self first, then pray for the other. Its even documented on how selfish we are in the Bible. "The foremost is, 'Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' "The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (NAS, Mark 12:28-31)

Another is in the Lords prayer ''...forgive those who trespass against us...lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil...'' not forgive us for trespassing against others or lead them not into temptation or deliver them from evil. No. We are selfish beings.

Learn to appreciate that, and find a way to have that work for you, as wise women do, we call it Submission.

For my conclusion;

''So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.'' (NIV, Matthew 7:12)

and 

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (NIV, Matthew 7:1-5)
All women haven't left, we're right next to you as your mothers, sisters, aunties, grandmothers, cousins and even partners. Look around with an open mind and you're see us.